How to Use This Blog

A Wayfarer is a person who is traveling, a particular place, a circumstance, a stage of life, etc. Let's walk the road of adoption together. The journey is so much better with company!
Much of this information is useful for any adoption, but this blog is designed to be a
I hope this blog will be helpful to you in your adoption whether you are considering, waiting or home. I started this blog when we were adopting and found there was next to nothing on the web in any orderly manner. I set about to collect information for myself and then for others. Now, there are more sites for resources, but still not much that brings it all together. I hope this blog will serve as a sort of clearing house for Ethiopian Adoption Information. Please feel free to contribute your knowledge through commenting.
You can search by topic in three ways. 1. Go to the "key word" tabs on top and open pages of links in those topics. 2. Use the "labels list" in the side bar or 3. use the "search bar" above the labels list. You can also browse the blog by month and year in the Posts section or in any of the above as well. The sidebar links are to sites outside of this blog. While I feel they provide good information, I can not vouch for each site with an approval rating. Use your own discernment for each. If you have more to add to the topic, please add it in the comment section of that page or post.
And, please link to The Wayfarer Adoption Blog by putting my button on
your blog so others can use this resource too. Please link to this blog when ever you can and whenever you re-post things (or images) you have found here. Thanks!
The solid tabs are links to my other blogs for books and family. Check them out if you are interested.
Welcome to the journey!

Monday, March 21, 2011

Subtle attachment issue, personal story

Ok, This is one of those personal posts.
My son is relatively well attached. Sure he has a few issues, but really he has made remarkable strides in family attachment. He is doing well. When he came to us he was fearful, angry and shut us out. He was manipulative and very interested in adults outside of our family to get his needs met. He could scream and shriek and was really a terrible child.
We have worked hard, really hard. He is a great kid now who only occasionally, barely respembles that really super awful kid we brought home. Today he is wonderful. Loves his family, obeys, has a conscious, etc....  He is a super great kid!!!!!

But, sometimes we still have issues.
Like last week. Instead of asking for what he needed he became destructive. This was subtle. He shredded his sock instead of asking to not wear them because the decal on the side was itchy. Ok, kids do this, it is fairly normal to some. However, at the root was the fact that he was unwilling to ask for what he needed so instead of asking he took things into his own hands to ensure than he never had to wear the socks again. He shredded them. On purpose. Deliberate destructive behavior to get what he needed instead of asking. He has witnessed me putting things aside that his brother (also adopted from Ethiopia) says itch, and he does not have to wear them.
So, we had some deliberate teaching time!

I think it is really helpful to know about attachment issues and what they may look like. If I had not read so much and talked to others with experience I may not have caught this for what it was. I am thankful for the experience of others and super great books  that clue me in to the subtle cues of attachment issues.

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The content on The Wayfarer:Ethiopian Adoption Resource Blog is for informational purposes only. We are adoptive parents, but we are not professionals. The opinions and suggestions expressed here are not intended to replace professional evaluation or therapy, or to supersede your agency. We assume no responsibility in the decisions that families make for their children and families. There are many links on this blog. We believe these other sites have valuable information, but we do not necessarily share all of the opinions or positions represented by each site, nor have we fully researched every aspect of each link. Please keep this in mind when visiting the links from this page.
Thank You.

A Links Disclaimer

I post a lot of links. I do so because I feel that the particular page has good information and much to offer. I do not necessarily support all that each site has to say or promote. I trust you to sift the links for information you feel is worthwhile to you. Each person's story and situation are unique and different things will be useful or not useful to each one in different ways. Please use your own discretion when accessing links and information.