Adoptive Families on line magazine

Adoptive Families is a really great web magazine. I want to share it with you in hopes that you will find it useful. Go ahead and subscribe for yourself. This month find articles on Doctors, life books, attachment, racism, to name a few. Check it out for yourself.

CNN news story about African adoptions

CNN front page article on African adoptions. This is an interesting article, vague and not very well founded, but worth consideration, and touches on the idea that some regulation is needed. Yes, it is needed, but not to halt it all. Protect the children, yes, we all want that. No one wants to adopt a child who was kidnapped, trafficked, or sold. No one.
Interesting read.

Want to know something about the 147 million orphans needing homes?

If you are just starting out on the road of international adoption I HIGHLY recommend reading this article by a fellow adoptive mama and blogger. This is going to give you a very realistic idea of who is adoptable, who is waiting and needing a family and some of what parenting that child could potentially entail.

Wall Street journal article

Here is an interesting article on Ethiopian adoption. It was published in some Wall Street Journal publications.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304811304577368243366708110.html

Adoptive Families magazine offers free adoption guide!

DOWNLOAD OUR FREE ADOPTION APP

New to adoption or considering an additional adoption -- or know someone who is? AF's FREE Adoption Guide app is the perfect resource for anyone who wants to learn more about starting out on adoption journeys. Get instant access to the best of AF and the best how-to-adopt tools -- right on your iPhone, iPod touch, or iPad.   

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This is a wonderful resource and perfect for anyone who is starting out in the world of adoption. This is a gift from Adoptive Families magazine. Visit them on line at:  http://adoptivefamilies.com/

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Africa Rising video and article

Just wanted to share this video and article regarding a group of Ethiopians using their natural resources well to feed their community. What if Africa could feed itself? What is holding it back? What help does it need to go forward in health and prosperity? Maybe this article and show will provide some of the answers.
View it here.

KIDMIA aids local Ethiopians in adopting orphans

I want to send you all this news article about KIDMIA and the work they are doing to help the cause of the orphan in Ethiopia. I think you will all be encouraged and inspired by this bit of news. Because of a project called Seed Adoption bringing the news of how local people can be involved in adoption of children many local Ethiopians are now adopting orphans, keeping them in their own country and culture. This is a great thing and I personally am really excited about it.
Check it out.

KIDMIA

Link between stress and calcium deficency ??? Interesting study

So, this pod cast is quite interesting. Brings up some interesting ideas about some adopted kids, although not about adoption. Ok, I will just put this out there, you can come to your own thoughts and ideas on this after listening to it. Some kids born in Ethiopia come home with great teeth, while others come with really awful teeth, cavities and thin enamel. Neither one having ever seen a toothbrush before the child care center. Doctors give reports of bone density loss and calcium deficiency, etc. Some have even had bone density tests and dental evaluations done to determine age and found that their child has calcium deficiency and even bone loss due to it, etc... Many of these same kids have a seriously ingrained fight or flight response which we recognize as a reaction to danger and stress. We know that Ethiopia is impoverished, there are a lot of reasons for calcium deficiency, including poor nutrition and even malnutrition. In light of this article and findings, could the stress of poverty and the culturally approved child rearing practices (which would never fly in the US as healthy) be part of what we are seeing in some of our older adoptees? Just a thought. Not saying it is or is not. Just putting it out there for parents who are experiencing some of this as a thought to consider.
Check it out for yourself.

Stressed out! The powerful biology of stress

Pick up the podcast and listen in at http://www.abc.net.au/rn/allinthemind/stories/2011/3098328.htmat .
01/01/2011
A little tension keeps us on our toes - we're biologically primed for it. But 'toxic' stress makes us physically sick, and powerful research is now revealing its potent impact on our developing bodies and brains. Don't miss two world leaders transforming our understanding.

Ethica post on US Department of State Meeting - Ethiopia Adoption: Solutions into Action

This article is re-posted with permission from Ethica. This is an awesome site for information regarding adoption ethics. There are pages for all countries engaging in international adoption. Check them out at Ethica. 

Ethica’s notes from U.S. Department of State meeting – Ethiopia Adoption: Solutions into Action

January 28, 2011

On Monday, January 24, 2011, the U.S. Department of State (DOS) hosted a meeting for stakeholders in Ethiopian adoption. Ethica will post the official DOS minutes as they are available.
Ethica was present at the meeting. The following are Ethica’s notes from that meeting.
Ethiopia Adoption: Solutions into Action – January 24, 2011
Overview:
*Adoptions are mostly from two regions of the country.
*80% of the adoption cases are relinquishment cases, majority relinquished by one birthparent.  Most have siblings.  In the earlier phase of adoptions from Ethiopia, the youngest children in a family were relinquished; increasingly it is the middle and older siblings in a family.
*40% of the children involved are under the age of two; 25% are between 2-4 years old, and 35% are over the age of 4.
*90% of the cases handled by the U.S. Embassy call for further investigation for clarification of facts.  The kinds of abuses they are seeing relate to misrepresentation of facts and concealment of facts in hopes of making the process going more quickly, including a false perception that if there is no birthparent reported that the case will move more quifathersckly (so will say that they are uncles, for instance).  The problems in Ethiopia begin at the local level long before the children reach Addis.
*There are 22 licensed US ASPs (Adoption Service Providers) in Ethiopia, but over 70 who operate there.  There is a lot of umbrella-ing.
*The top 10 ASPs account for 67% of all adoptions from Ethiopia.
Vulnerabilities:
*There is no central mechanism for referrals for children.
*There are three different parts of the Ethiopian government that have jurisdiction over adoptions:  Ministry of Justice (MOJ), Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA), and Charities and Societies, which registers NGOs and ASPs
*MOJ evaluated 200 orphanages; recently indicated that they were planning on closing 50 of them due to malfeasance
*MOWA has an office of 5 people to review all adoption cases; the process requires two reviews of adoption cases.
*ASPs choose orphanages to work with, orphanages choose ASPs; there is neither transparency nor regulation in this process
*Irregularities are found after the adoption is finalized and the child is legally the child of American parents.
*Expediting the process means that there is not enough time for due diligence
*There is no standardization of fees, no standard fee structure
*Lack of monitoring at the local level
*At one point, it seemed that there was some movement toward Ethiopia becoming a Hague Convention country, but it does not appear to be on the agenda now.
Investigation of children’s backgrounds:
ASPs are inconsistent in their due diligence in investigating children’s backgrounds.  In one example, a 6-year old child was found abandoned at a bus station and kept in an orphanage for 1.5 years.  The first time the child was asked about his biological parents was during his visa interview at the Embassy, and he told the officials the name and address of his biological parents.  This information could have easily been procured prior to this point.
Some adoption agencies do more due diligence than others, with social workers and investigators operating in the best interests of the child.  Some ASPs create lifebooks as an investigative tool so they have more information on the child prior to court.  The life book includes video interviews of the parents, neighbors and others involved in the case, and they document evidence of the child’s background, how s/he came into care, and provide timelines.  Other agencies are passing along paperwork that the agency has failed to look at themselves which show discrepancies, missing information and clerical errors; one example provided was a document that stated in one place that “father unknown” and in another place, “tried to call father; no answer.”
The Transparency Survey administered by Ethica can provide some information into the different practices of agencies (found here).
The US government is increasing scrutiny and increasing field investigations based on fraud markers they’ve observed.  They continue to collect detailed tracking information on all cases to detect patterns.
Hague accredited agencies are not necessarily operating in a transparent and ethical manner, either.  Most agencies are not investigating kids’ histories across the board, Hague accredited or not.
Part of the problem is umbrella-ing.  It is necessary to examine the connections between all organizations and determine whether those relationships are appropriate.  They want to become more rigorous in their investigations.  It was also suggested that reputable agencies will broadcast clearly the problems that are happening in Ethiopian adoptions. We encourage families to register their complaints with COA about problem agencies if those agencies are Hague-accredited.
Current situation in Ethiopia:
*As the number of children coming out of Ethiopia increase, there are increasing concerns about their well-being, particularly in a country that lacks the infrastructure necessary to support the numbers.  There are increasing attachment issues in children coming from Ethiopia.
*There is a dichotomy in agency practices:  on one end of the spectrum, agencies that go into the village, interview leaders in the village, families.  On the other end of the spectrum, child is not asked about their circumstances and paperwork is suspicious.  There are significant concerns about how children come into care.  There are also concerns in the fact that the children now stay in the government orphanage before coming to transition homes.
*There are significant development projects in Ethiopia as a result of adoption agency involvement that affect far more than the children who are adopted.
*Adoptive parents’ entitlement are one of the most damaging issues in Ethiopian adoption.  There have been reports of parents hitting their children, yelling at their children.  This is extremely harmful to newly adopted children and has serious consequences for the future of the program.  This is why APs are now required to stay in guest houses.  There needs to be a real change in the way parents behave in country.
Speed of the process: 
*From the USG perspective, it is fairly expeditious.  If the agency provides appropriate and reliable paperwork, and the Embassy knows that the agency did its due diligence, they can act more quickly.  The delays are often on the Ethiopian side, especially because of the limited resources of MOWA and MOJ.
*One big issue is that the USG is often seen as the “bad guy” when they have to disclose to the AP that the child being referred has two living parents who want to parent.  This is not the fault of the Embassy.
“The way forward” panel
*PL 109-95 mandates a consistent, coordinated, effective approach to helping orphaned and vulnerable children (OVC).  It includes 7 US government agencies and PEPFAR.  One can find all of the USG projects to address OVC here (this is mandated by PL 109-95).
*There are significant concerns about coercion, paperwork irregularities.  The increase in adoptions from Ethiopia did not coincide with an increase in family options, which is notable and concerning.
Take-home messages for adoptive parents:
1)  Agency selection is critical for prospective adoptive parents.  Select an agency that has a solid track record of investigating children’’ histories and knowing their facilitators and the situations in which children come into care.  PAPs should avoid agencies that umbrella and sign only with Hague-accredited agencies that are legally allowed to operate in Ethiopia.  It is highly advisable to join adoption agency research internet groups to fully vet one’s agency choice.
2)  Adoptive parents should seek out pre-adoptive education on child development and attachment.  They should check their attitudes when in-country, but more than that, realize that practices such as hitting, smacking, or yelling at children are extremely harmful for both the children themselves and the future of the program.
3)  When a Hague-accredited agency presents inconsistent paperwork or the adoptive parents have ethical concerns about their adoption in the process of completing their adoption,, PAPs and APs are strongly urged to report the behavior to the Department of State here.  If it is a non-accredited agency that behaves unethically, the Department of State would still like to hear about it; families can email askci@state.gov.  For questions about making a complaint, families can email Ethica at ethicainfo@gmail.com.
4)  It cannot be overstated that we urge adoptive parents to use only Hague accredited agencies and ask many questions about a referral once it is made about the circumstances surrounding the child’s history.  For more information or help determining whether an agency is Hague-accredited, contact us:  ethicainfo@gmail.com.

You can also check out the article on the same event from PEAR Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform

World Aids Day 2010

Today there is a focus on how AIDS has effected the world, what can be done to help and how severe is the situation. Many of us who have adopted children from Africa have had to face the AIDS epidemic first hand. Some of our kids are AIDS orphans, some are HIV +. Anti viral drugs are available and help those who can access them lead a relatively normal life. Education and awareness help prevent the spread. In Africa it is largely a heterosexual disease, directly effecting the nuclear family.

Here are two great resources that talk about the issues and what is being done.
SIM Hope for AIDS
SIM newsletter 
Tom Davis' Red Letters blog World AIDS day
Compassion International Many lies one truth
World Aids Day site . Want to learn more?

Go check it out. If you are moved to DO something, each of these has options for you.

Today I thank God my sons are alive and healthy. I think of their birth parents who died of AIDS. I pray for those who still have their birth parents and pray for wisdom in life choices for the men and women, protection for the women and children who don't get a choice.

Behavior: is it adoption or is it age?

I just read a great article in Adoptive Families. (click here to read it). It is a common question for parents to wonder about their kids behavior. Is it adoption or is it age? Is my child extra whinny because she is 4 or because she is insecure about her family and belonging? Is my son aggressive because he feels left out of the sibling trio going to school or is it because he is adopted and reliving feelings of abandonment? Adoptive parents are often asking themselves this sort of question. Parenting adopted kids can be tricky with all the normal age and situational behaviors and adding in the ones touched by adoption. Well, this article addresses those concerns with professional and thoughtful answers. Go read it and be relieved. :)

In our house lately there has been a bunch of "i feel left out" sort of manipulative and angry behaviors. K started school and N feels left out, the only kid, of four, at home. We do school at home, it is just not the same. The fact that he is the youngest is highlighted in bold and he is not happy about that and is not about to go down alone. His efforts to take everyone down in the "feel sorry for me" or "try to make myself feel bigger" efforts is getting to everyone. We have taken steps to make him feel special and loved and included but that fact is, he is still the youngest child, the only one NOT in school. He is gradually coming to accept this and maybe it is "his lot in life" but we hope he will enjoy his time with mommy all to himself and find the benefits of being the youngest sibling. Maybe, in time. But for now, we will be glad he is getting used to it, albeit rather gradually.

school, letter to teachers, ELL

WOW! It is time for school already! I am getting my four kids ready for school. I have a 7th grader, a 5th grader, a Kindergartner and a Pre K. Well, I have written my 4th annual letter to the teacher regarding Asperger's and now I am getting ready to write the first of many annual letters to the teacher regarding adoption. So, I thought I would post about resources on that topic.

Here are some sites that deal with school readiness for your recently adopted school age or pre school child.
http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/Article/School-Readiness-and-School-Placement-of-a-Newly-Adopted-Post-institutionalized-Child/36

Helping your child answer odd and intrusive questions from peers, when you are not there to help:
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1003
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=441

Language and getting ELL services:
http://www.bgcenter.com/language.htm
http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/Article/Internationally-adopted-post-institutionalized-students-in-an-ESL-class/261
http://www.adoptionarticlesdirectory.com/Article/Specific-Features-of-Cumulative-Cognitive-Deficit--CCD--in-Internationally-Adopted-Children/17 
http://www.state.tn.us/education/speced/doc/QAs_ESLSpEd_MythFact.pdf
http://www.4j.lane.edu/instruction/gp/ell/assessment?printme=y
ELL  program to use at home?    http://www.gemmlearning.com/english_second_language.php

Some other sites that talk about school interaction and teacher letters.
http://www.examiner.com/international-adoption-in-national/back-to-school-for-adoptees-101-how-do-i-educate-my-child-s-teacher-about-international-adoption
http://older-child.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/a-letter-to-the-teacher
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/DearTeacher.pdf
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/Adoption_School.pdf
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1546
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/school
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1455 
 
if you need to inform teachers about attachment issues:
http://www.attachment.org/pages_teachers_letter.php

more hand outs for teachers:
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/clip.php http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/MemoToTeachers.pdf
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/pdf/Assignments.pdf
http://www.adoptioninformationinstitute.org/education.html

In my opinion the following link is the ONE STOP for all adoption and school related information:
http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/school
Hoping this gives you somewhere to start and great resources for Back To School!

Help after you are home and for your school

Some parents research all sorts of things, others just let it happen. Everyone has their own personality in how to prepare and plan for life. No matter which you fall into, or somewhere in between, things can be difficult once you are home with your child. Some kids adapt quickly, others don't, some need help, some families need help. Some need a little help to get over a hurdle and some need a lot. There is NO shame in needing a little or a lot of help to adjust. The Adoption Exchange as a great resource for post-adoption help. There are all sorts of things here. Articles, Education, Respite Care, Support Groups, etc..... check it out with the link above.

Educators need help understanding the unique needs of adoptive families and kids who have been adopted. There are great resources for schools too!  This is a list of education opportunities for professionals and parents, as far as I can understand, these classes are put on in conjunction with Colorado Department of Human Services. This makes them very useful and legit for public school teachers who need state approved classes. The Adoption Exchange is really focused on helping families and educators to meet the needs of kids who have been adopted.
PDF booklet from Adoption Exchange on Family Diversity in Education
There are other resources for teachers and schools here too. Take a look and pass it on.