Attachment issues and Ethiopia

In response to the Russian issue:
http://www.slate.com/id/2250590/?Gt1=38001
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/ct-met-0414-russian-adoptions-20100414,0,4803691.story


I just want to add a few things from experience, research and experience of friends and family. Please understand that I am not meaning to be graphic here, but without understanding and education and tools for intervention any of us could become a statistic as well. I would not like to see that happen, so in the effort to keep it realistic and the hopes that all adoptive families THRIVE, here are my thoughts on the latest issues in international adoption and how they relate to Ethiopian adoption:
1. Yes, Eastern European children in institutions do tend to have more severe issues, including RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder).
2. Ethiopia is not immune from similar issues, including RAD. Children are well cared for BY ETHIOPIAN STANDARDS until they are about 3-5. After that.... well, things that we would consider unacceptable are the norm there.I am not going to go into detail here, ask your older kids. Mine were 3 when they came home and they can tell me.
3. sexual abuse is wide spread in Ethiopia for both boys and girls. Sexual activity with peers is common for children over the age of 10-12.
4. Sure children in Eastern Europe are not accustomed to being held. They have more sensory deprivation issues for sure. They are undernourished and often have illnesses and disabilities due to cultural practices and neglect. They also have institutional abuse and family of origin abuse in numerous ways. Children in Ethiopia have fewer sensory deprivation issues, they are used to a rich array of sensory stimulation including being held. They are NOT immune from the effects of institutionalization or from the abuse that can occur there at the hands of caregivers and older children. They can also come from abusive family backgrounds. It is a possibility we have to acknowledge.
5. I know A LOT of families with kids from Ethiopia. I have two! :) I have heard too many stories about abuse and neglect and the effects of malnutrition and under-nutrition. I see it in my own sons (adopted at 3). I know that the issues we face adopting from Ethiopia are different than those adopting from Eastern Europe and even China, etc. Each country has it's own set of social ills and standards. But, we are not without our potential problems. Things arise after time, things you never knew, things that are sad or horrific. Sometimes they don't remember them, but they act on them. Not that they are guaranteed-going to hurt anyone (sometimes it DOES happens) but they are hurting themselves inside. A hurt child does tends to hurt others.
6. You as a parent are doing the best job you can when you learn all you can and expect that you will have a child who has experienced some level of trauma and you learn how to walk with them through it to healing. If you learn about it, you can spot it, deal with it and help your child be an over-comer and not succumb to RAD or other attachment issues or behaviors. It does not have to ruin your life -or theirs, but it will change you forever. Knowing the truth and the possibilities of what your child may have encountered in their life before you will give you power to help them succeed. Don't be in the dark. Look through this blog. You can find lots of resources to start you on a journey of education that will help your child stop hurting inside.
7. If you are of a mind to read more articles regarding what your child *may* have experienced before their life with you. Try some of these:
http://muse.jhu.edu/login?uri=/journals/northeast_african_studies/v008/8.1tadele.html
http://gvnet.com/childprostitution/Ethiopia.htm
http://www.crin.org/violence/search/closeup.asp?infoid=18107
http://www.oakfnd.org/activities/2005/childabuseethiopia.php
http://www.child-hood.com/index.php?id=703
http://www.anppcan-eth.org.et/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory

Respectfully,
Jill