How to Use This Blog

A Wayfarer is a person who is traveling, a particular place, a circumstance, a stage of life, etc. Let's walk the road of adoption together. The journey is so much better with company!
Much of this information is useful for any adoption, but this blog is designed to be a
I hope this blog will be helpful to you in your adoption whether you are considering, waiting or home. I started this blog when we were adopting and found there was next to nothing on the web in any orderly manner. I set about to collect information for myself and then for others. Now, there are more sites for resources, but still not much that brings it all together. I hope this blog will serve as a sort of clearing house for Ethiopian Adoption Information. Please feel free to contribute your knowledge through commenting.
You can search by topic in three ways. 1. Go to the "key word" tabs on top and open pages of links in those topics. 2. Use the "labels list" in the side bar or 3. use the "search bar" above the labels list. You can also browse the blog by month and year in the Posts section or in any of the above as well. The sidebar links are to sites outside of this blog. While I feel they provide good information, I can not vouch for each site with an approval rating. Use your own discernment for each. If you have more to add to the topic, please add it in the comment section of that page or post.
And, please link to The Wayfarer Adoption Blog by putting my button on
your blog so others can use this resource too. Please link to this blog when ever you can and whenever you re-post things (or images) you have found here. Thanks!
The solid tabs are links to my other blogs for books and family. Check them out if you are interested.
Welcome to the journey!

Monday, December 19, 2011

The Christmas Break Regression

Oh the Holiday Regression! Some of you know what I am talking about. Some of our precious kids just do not do so well with holidays, vacations, school breaks, company, alterations to the predictable and comfortable schedule. Do you have one..... or more? Loads of us do, you are not alone.

Here are some gifts you could give your child in this unpredictable time:

Give your child a written schedule of events, let them know that things could change but they can trust you even if things don't go just like the plan. Try to keep the plan and let them know the moment you know it is going to change.
Give them the heads up as to who will be there and what to expect at various events, inclulding what is expected of them.
Give them the reassurance that your love and your family is NOT going to change and that you belong to each other in this wonderful season.
Give them family time, traditions and special things to look forward to that say, this is family, and I care about you.
Give them time to talk and cuddle, maybe a bit extra is just what is needed to stay grounded.
Give them grace. No one means to have a meltdown, it just happens, more so when mom and dad are busy and do not notice the warning signs.
Give yourself grace. Of course it is busy and you did not realize it was getting to be too much. You are not defined by your child's good or bad behaviour. And neither is your child. It just is.
Give hugs and kisses and reassurance and some time away from the activity together.  This too shall pass.
Give your child extra eye contact, smiles and touches.
Give some suggestions, when it is all just too much and regression sets in. You might suggest that this is why your child did such and such.....(ok, some do not agree with this, but it works wonders for us!). If they can understand what is going on in their brain then the behavior is not so bad, the event not so scary, the change not so unsettling. If the feeling has a name the actions seem to take a back seat because they become manageable. Seriously if they know they are acting on a false presupposed idea and it is going badly, maybe the truth will set them free. Just maybe. It *usually* works around here. 

OK, what if your child is older? Well, it has been my experience that this plan works just as well with a 4 year old as it does with a 12 year old. So, give, give, give. :) And have a great Holiday!

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The content on The Wayfarer:Ethiopian Adoption Resource Blog is for informational purposes only. We are adoptive parents, but we are not professionals. The opinions and suggestions expressed here are not intended to replace professional evaluation or therapy, or to supersede your agency. We assume no responsibility in the decisions that families make for their children and families. There are many links on this blog. We believe these other sites have valuable information, but we do not necessarily share all of the opinions or positions represented by each site, nor have we fully researched every aspect of each link. Please keep this in mind when visiting the links from this page.
Thank You.

A Links Disclaimer

I post a lot of links. I do so because I feel that the particular page has good information and much to offer. I do not necessarily support all that each site has to say or promote. I trust you to sift the links for information you feel is worthwhile to you. Each person's story and situation are unique and different things will be useful or not useful to each one in different ways. Please use your own discretion when accessing links and information.