How to Use This Blog

A Wayfarer is a person who is traveling, a particular place, a circumstance, a stage of life, etc. Let's walk the road of adoption together. The journey is so much better with company!
Much of this information is useful for any adoption, but this blog is designed to be a
I hope this blog will be helpful to you in your adoption whether you are considering, waiting or home. I started this blog when we were adopting and found there was next to nothing on the web in any orderly manner. I set about to collect information for myself and then for others. Now, there are more sites for resources, but still not much that brings it all together. I hope this blog will serve as a sort of clearing house for Ethiopian Adoption Information. Please feel free to contribute your knowledge through commenting.
You can search by topic in three ways. 1. Go to the "key word" tabs on top and open pages of links in those topics. 2. Use the "labels list" in the side bar or 3. use the "search bar" above the labels list. You can also browse the blog by month and year in the Posts section or in any of the above as well. The sidebar links are to sites outside of this blog. While I feel they provide good information, I can not vouch for each site with an approval rating. Use your own discernment for each. If you have more to add to the topic, please add it in the comment section of that page or post.
And, please link to The Wayfarer Adoption Blog by putting my button on
your blog so others can use this resource too. Please link to this blog when ever you can and whenever you re-post things (or images) you have found here. Thanks!
The solid tabs are links to my other blogs for books and family. Check them out if you are interested.
Welcome to the journey!

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Connected Child

This weekend we attended the Empowered to Connect conference in Denver. It was wonderful. We are big fans of the book, The Connected Child by Dr. Karen Purvis. 

We have found many of the ideas in here very useful for all of our kids. I am going to give some personal advice on here. I do not usually do that, I tend to favor giving you tons of information and letting you decide what to do with it. However, with this one..... I think every adoptive family needs this book. I feel that if you have kids in your home you should read this book and implement it with the kids you have before you add new children to the home. Then it is all in place for your kids who are on their way to your family, and you are all practiced up and your kids now won't be asking you why you are doing it different with  the new siblings. I do not think this is strictly a parenting technique for adopted kids but rather what all kids can benefit by. I love this book it is really great. It works for us and we have the diverse kids over here, ha, don't we all!

This book talks about the basic connection your child needs and why it is broken and how to fix it. It gives you ways to implement basic and really important things like: obey the first time, be respectful, no hurts, calm and gentle actions and voice, asking for what you need, etc.

Did you know that your child will mirror the type of attachment style you have? If you have a secure attachment style this will come easier for them, if you have an insecure attachment style then they too will exhibit this type of attachment. How do you know what your style is? Some self examination is in order to find out your attachment style. It is probable that in all your training you have actually had some sort of "ah-ha" moment regarding your own attachment style, grief process and well, all sorts of connections to your child hood events and why you do what you do now. If not, maybe it is time. Dr. Purvis encourages parents to seek out their own story and embrace it and grow from it. She said over and over if you as the parent have not done significant healing of your own you will not be able to lead your child to healing. Here at our house, we can attest to this as truth. Never fear, now is not too late. As you change and grow so will your child. Healing begets healing.

You can also access this information in video clips on Empowered To Connect.
You can buy the videos from TCU.

I strongly suggest that you make this the top priority in reading and implementing BEFORE you bring your child home. And, if you did not do it before, well get it now and start doing this. It is a wonderful tool.

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The content on The Wayfarer:Ethiopian Adoption Resource Blog is for informational purposes only. We are adoptive parents, but we are not professionals. The opinions and suggestions expressed here are not intended to replace professional evaluation or therapy, or to supersede your agency. We assume no responsibility in the decisions that families make for their children and families. There are many links on this blog. We believe these other sites have valuable information, but we do not necessarily share all of the opinions or positions represented by each site, nor have we fully researched every aspect of each link. Please keep this in mind when visiting the links from this page.
Thank You.

A Links Disclaimer

I post a lot of links. I do so because I feel that the particular page has good information and much to offer. I do not necessarily support all that each site has to say or promote. I trust you to sift the links for information you feel is worthwhile to you. Each person's story and situation are unique and different things will be useful or not useful to each one in different ways. Please use your own discretion when accessing links and information.