How to Use This Blog

A Wayfarer is a person who is traveling, a particular place, a circumstance, a stage of life, etc. Let's walk the road of adoption together. The journey is so much better with company!
Much of this information is useful for any adoption, but this blog is designed to be a
I hope this blog will be helpful to you in your adoption whether you are considering, waiting or home. I started this blog when we were adopting and found there was next to nothing on the web in any orderly manner. I set about to collect information for myself and then for others. Now, there are more sites for resources, but still not much that brings it all together. I hope this blog will serve as a sort of clearing house for Ethiopian Adoption Information. Please feel free to contribute your knowledge through commenting.
You can search by topic in three ways. 1. Go to the "key word" tabs on top and open pages of links in those topics. 2. Use the "labels list" in the side bar or 3. use the "search bar" above the labels list. You can also browse the blog by month and year in the Posts section or in any of the above as well. The sidebar links are to sites outside of this blog. While I feel they provide good information, I can not vouch for each site with an approval rating. Use your own discernment for each. If you have more to add to the topic, please add it in the comment section of that page or post.
And, please link to The Wayfarer Adoption Blog by putting my button on
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The solid tabs are links to my other blogs for books and family. Check them out if you are interested.
Welcome to the journey!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

grief, acting out and anniversaries

Well, I am once again reminded of the good advice so many parents and therapists give adoptive parents. Watch out for anniversaries. Why?  Well, the anniversary of the adoption and the anniversary of their arrival in the orphanage or any other significantly traumatic event is likely to trigger a reaction.  No, they don't know it, they are totally unaware.  But, if your son or daughter is suddenly acting a bit jittery, not sleeping well, extra needy, or just plain naughty with no apparent cause........ ask yourself if this is a significant anniversary time frame for them.  They likely just need a bit of extra attention, love and care and a good dose of security, attachment  and encouragement.

I was just musing over the sudden and unexplained naughty and jittery (minor stuff, but more than usual) behavior of my boys and asked my Bible Study ladies to pray for us as there is just something up, but what.  Well, in saying it out loud I realized that we are a week away from the day we picked them up from the orphanage two years ago.  Joyful event for us, certainly traumatic for them.  Either way, a big huge change, a good change, for them also a scary change.  They did this last year, so why did I not expect it this year?  Silly me.  One of our sons also does this in January, which is the month he was taken to the orphanage.  I had a little chat with them about how they may be feeling and why and gave them more encouragement and reassuring.  They were pretty good the rest of the day.  They just need an overdose of love and affection twice a year and they are fine.  If I can just remember this next time!


  1. A adoptive mom (Ethiopia)August 1, 2010 at 12:20 PM

    Since they are Ethiopian, why don't they grieve according to the Ethiopian calendar?

  2. Well, In America we live on the Western calendar and not the Ethiopian calendar. The dates a child is adopted and taken to the orphanage on our calendar correlate to the Ethiopian calendar (are translated from). So, since they don't live in Ethiopia, nor in an Ethiopian culture (mostly) they grieve (etc) at the time of the year they had the event occur and the name of the month does not really come into play. Especially as this is not conscious on their part.


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The content on The Wayfarer:Ethiopian Adoption Resource Blog is for informational purposes only. We are adoptive parents, but we are not professionals. The opinions and suggestions expressed here are not intended to replace professional evaluation or therapy, or to supersede your agency. We assume no responsibility in the decisions that families make for their children and families. There are many links on this blog. We believe these other sites have valuable information, but we do not necessarily share all of the opinions or positions represented by each site, nor have we fully researched every aspect of each link. Please keep this in mind when visiting the links from this page.
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