What I think.........

We asked Phoebe and Olivia five questions, here are their answers.

1. What did you think adoption (or having brothers) would be like?

Phoebe: When I first heard we were going to adopt I was very excited. I was excited about getting two more siblings because then we could play more fun things. I didn't even remember that they were boys or that they did not speak English.

Olivia: When I heard that were were adopting I felt happy, worried, excited and cautious all at the same time. I didn't really know what to think.

2. How is it different than you thought?

Phoebe: Now that we have them, I have found that they are too little to play my kind of games and they are boys and boys don't play the kind of games I like to play. Their English is also sometimes frustrating.

Olivia: I did not know it would be so loud, I didn't know I could get so tired or headaches so much. It was the biggest change of my life and it will never go back to the normal I had before.

3. What do you think about adoption?

Phoebe: I think adoption is a good idea and people all over the world should do it, although some things are still frustrating. It is a good idea because all children deserve to have a good, loving family.

Olivia: I think it is a good thing because you help kids who don't have families and we can teach them about God.

4. What do you like about having brothers in our family?

Phoebe: Now I have someone who will play in the mud with me. They are enthusiastic about hide and seek. They are little so are still learning about hiding in different places. They are also good at wrestling.

Olivia: Though the boys can be boring sometimes, they are fun to play outside with. It is fun to play cars and dolls with them and building things.

5. What have you had to change in order to make the family work well with your new siblings?

Phoebe: I have had to be able to stand the noise of boys. I have had to work on patience with their English learning and age behaviors.

Olivia: I have to learn to not be so bossy and I am working on getting used to the noise of boys. I am trying to be kind and patient and loving.

As you can see Phoebe and Olivia did not really know what was about to hit them despite the intentional work Mom and Dad did to prepare them. You may feel the same way too. It is normal.

Keep in mind the thing that makes life work out well for you in your home and other places is your attitude. That may seem little but it is really big and it is up to you. Sometimes the biological kids in a family with adopted kids may feel like they should not have to change -I was here first- and it is the new sibling's fault for making life different and sometimes difficult. In truth it is all up to you and your own attitude. Most of the time your new sibling is just reacting to things in a way they learned before they came into your family and if you act angry or bossy with them they will most likely react in a negative way. Think about it, how would you react if someone was angry and bossy with you? If you are kind and thoughtful they will learn to be fun to be around. It won't happen right away, they need help to unlearn the reactions they came with and learn new ones that work better in life.
Try it out.
Give it time.
Check your attitude.