Life Book template available

I just wanted to let you know that I have made available in Google Docs templates for two Life Books. They are both alterable if you have Publisher. You should be able to download it to your computer and use. Both Life Books include history and interesting facts about Ethiopia. One has a section on the region of Tigray the other has a section on the region of Amhara. Feel free to take a look at them. There is a publisher version of each as well as a PDF version of each. You can't change the PDF but can look at it for ideas for your own creation. The Publisher should be able to be downloaded and personalized.You can only see it on line in the PDF format for some reason.
Amhara- pub
Tigray-pub
Tigray PDF
Amhara PDF

Link between stress and calcium deficency ??? Interesting study

So, this pod cast is quite interesting. Brings up some interesting ideas about some adopted kids, although not about adoption. Ok, I will just put this out there, you can come to your own thoughts and ideas on this after listening to it. Some kids born in Ethiopia come home with great teeth, while others come with really awful teeth, cavities and thin enamel. Neither one having ever seen a toothbrush before the child care center. Doctors give reports of bone density loss and calcium deficiency, etc. Some have even had bone density tests and dental evaluations done to determine age and found that their child has calcium deficiency and even bone loss due to it, etc... Many of these same kids have a seriously ingrained fight or flight response which we recognize as a reaction to danger and stress. We know that Ethiopia is impoverished, there are a lot of reasons for calcium deficiency, including poor nutrition and even malnutrition. In light of this article and findings, could the stress of poverty and the culturally approved child rearing practices (which would never fly in the US as healthy) be part of what we are seeing in some of our older adoptees? Just a thought. Not saying it is or is not. Just putting it out there for parents who are experiencing some of this as a thought to consider.
Check it out for yourself.

Stressed out! The powerful biology of stress

Pick up the podcast and listen in at http://www.abc.net.au/rn/allinthemind/stories/2011/3098328.htmat .
01/01/2011
A little tension keeps us on our toes - we're biologically primed for it. But 'toxic' stress makes us physically sick, and powerful research is now revealing its potent impact on our developing bodies and brains. Don't miss two world leaders transforming our understanding.

Ethica post on US Department of State Meeting - Ethiopia Adoption: Solutions into Action

This article is re-posted with permission from Ethica. This is an awesome site for information regarding adoption ethics. There are pages for all countries engaging in international adoption. Check them out at Ethica. 

Ethica’s notes from U.S. Department of State meeting – Ethiopia Adoption: Solutions into Action

January 28, 2011

On Monday, January 24, 2011, the U.S. Department of State (DOS) hosted a meeting for stakeholders in Ethiopian adoption. Ethica will post the official DOS minutes as they are available.
Ethica was present at the meeting. The following are Ethica’s notes from that meeting.
Ethiopia Adoption: Solutions into Action – January 24, 2011
Overview:
*Adoptions are mostly from two regions of the country.
*80% of the adoption cases are relinquishment cases, majority relinquished by one birthparent.  Most have siblings.  In the earlier phase of adoptions from Ethiopia, the youngest children in a family were relinquished; increasingly it is the middle and older siblings in a family.
*40% of the children involved are under the age of two; 25% are between 2-4 years old, and 35% are over the age of 4.
*90% of the cases handled by the U.S. Embassy call for further investigation for clarification of facts.  The kinds of abuses they are seeing relate to misrepresentation of facts and concealment of facts in hopes of making the process going more quickly, including a false perception that if there is no birthparent reported that the case will move more quifathersckly (so will say that they are uncles, for instance).  The problems in Ethiopia begin at the local level long before the children reach Addis.
*There are 22 licensed US ASPs (Adoption Service Providers) in Ethiopia, but over 70 who operate there.  There is a lot of umbrella-ing.
*The top 10 ASPs account for 67% of all adoptions from Ethiopia.
Vulnerabilities:
*There is no central mechanism for referrals for children.
*There are three different parts of the Ethiopian government that have jurisdiction over adoptions:  Ministry of Justice (MOJ), Ministry of Women’s Affairs (MOWA), and Charities and Societies, which registers NGOs and ASPs
*MOJ evaluated 200 orphanages; recently indicated that they were planning on closing 50 of them due to malfeasance
*MOWA has an office of 5 people to review all adoption cases; the process requires two reviews of adoption cases.
*ASPs choose orphanages to work with, orphanages choose ASPs; there is neither transparency nor regulation in this process
*Irregularities are found after the adoption is finalized and the child is legally the child of American parents.
*Expediting the process means that there is not enough time for due diligence
*There is no standardization of fees, no standard fee structure
*Lack of monitoring at the local level
*At one point, it seemed that there was some movement toward Ethiopia becoming a Hague Convention country, but it does not appear to be on the agenda now.
Investigation of children’s backgrounds:
ASPs are inconsistent in their due diligence in investigating children’s backgrounds.  In one example, a 6-year old child was found abandoned at a bus station and kept in an orphanage for 1.5 years.  The first time the child was asked about his biological parents was during his visa interview at the Embassy, and he told the officials the name and address of his biological parents.  This information could have easily been procured prior to this point.
Some adoption agencies do more due diligence than others, with social workers and investigators operating in the best interests of the child.  Some ASPs create lifebooks as an investigative tool so they have more information on the child prior to court.  The life book includes video interviews of the parents, neighbors and others involved in the case, and they document evidence of the child’s background, how s/he came into care, and provide timelines.  Other agencies are passing along paperwork that the agency has failed to look at themselves which show discrepancies, missing information and clerical errors; one example provided was a document that stated in one place that “father unknown” and in another place, “tried to call father; no answer.”
The Transparency Survey administered by Ethica can provide some information into the different practices of agencies (found here).
The US government is increasing scrutiny and increasing field investigations based on fraud markers they’ve observed.  They continue to collect detailed tracking information on all cases to detect patterns.
Hague accredited agencies are not necessarily operating in a transparent and ethical manner, either.  Most agencies are not investigating kids’ histories across the board, Hague accredited or not.
Part of the problem is umbrella-ing.  It is necessary to examine the connections between all organizations and determine whether those relationships are appropriate.  They want to become more rigorous in their investigations.  It was also suggested that reputable agencies will broadcast clearly the problems that are happening in Ethiopian adoptions. We encourage families to register their complaints with COA about problem agencies if those agencies are Hague-accredited.
Current situation in Ethiopia:
*As the number of children coming out of Ethiopia increase, there are increasing concerns about their well-being, particularly in a country that lacks the infrastructure necessary to support the numbers.  There are increasing attachment issues in children coming from Ethiopia.
*There is a dichotomy in agency practices:  on one end of the spectrum, agencies that go into the village, interview leaders in the village, families.  On the other end of the spectrum, child is not asked about their circumstances and paperwork is suspicious.  There are significant concerns about how children come into care.  There are also concerns in the fact that the children now stay in the government orphanage before coming to transition homes.
*There are significant development projects in Ethiopia as a result of adoption agency involvement that affect far more than the children who are adopted.
*Adoptive parents’ entitlement are one of the most damaging issues in Ethiopian adoption.  There have been reports of parents hitting their children, yelling at their children.  This is extremely harmful to newly adopted children and has serious consequences for the future of the program.  This is why APs are now required to stay in guest houses.  There needs to be a real change in the way parents behave in country.
Speed of the process: 
*From the USG perspective, it is fairly expeditious.  If the agency provides appropriate and reliable paperwork, and the Embassy knows that the agency did its due diligence, they can act more quickly.  The delays are often on the Ethiopian side, especially because of the limited resources of MOWA and MOJ.
*One big issue is that the USG is often seen as the “bad guy” when they have to disclose to the AP that the child being referred has two living parents who want to parent.  This is not the fault of the Embassy.
“The way forward” panel
*PL 109-95 mandates a consistent, coordinated, effective approach to helping orphaned and vulnerable children (OVC).  It includes 7 US government agencies and PEPFAR.  One can find all of the USG projects to address OVC here (this is mandated by PL 109-95).
*There are significant concerns about coercion, paperwork irregularities.  The increase in adoptions from Ethiopia did not coincide with an increase in family options, which is notable and concerning.
Take-home messages for adoptive parents:
1)  Agency selection is critical for prospective adoptive parents.  Select an agency that has a solid track record of investigating children’’ histories and knowing their facilitators and the situations in which children come into care.  PAPs should avoid agencies that umbrella and sign only with Hague-accredited agencies that are legally allowed to operate in Ethiopia.  It is highly advisable to join adoption agency research internet groups to fully vet one’s agency choice.
2)  Adoptive parents should seek out pre-adoptive education on child development and attachment.  They should check their attitudes when in-country, but more than that, realize that practices such as hitting, smacking, or yelling at children are extremely harmful for both the children themselves and the future of the program.
3)  When a Hague-accredited agency presents inconsistent paperwork or the adoptive parents have ethical concerns about their adoption in the process of completing their adoption,, PAPs and APs are strongly urged to report the behavior to the Department of State here.  If it is a non-accredited agency that behaves unethically, the Department of State would still like to hear about it; families can email askci@state.gov.  For questions about making a complaint, families can email Ethica at ethicainfo@gmail.com.
4)  It cannot be overstated that we urge adoptive parents to use only Hague accredited agencies and ask many questions about a referral once it is made about the circumstances surrounding the child’s history.  For more information or help determining whether an agency is Hague-accredited, contact us:  ethicainfo@gmail.com.

You can also check out the article on the same event from PEAR Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform

Ethical Adoption

Interested in Ethical adoption practices. Is your agency ethical? Is the country ethical in the way it is handling adoptions? If you are interested in learning more about ethics in adoption Ethica is the site for you. It is brimming with wonderful and insightful articles and has pages specific to different countries. See their page on Ethiopia here. I know right now there are a lot of questions about what is going on in Ethiopia, is my adoption "safe", is my agency safe? This is a great resource and I wanted to be sure to share it with you.

This site is current and up to date and will give you honest information you can count on. 

Empowered to Connect conference in Denver!!!!!!!!

Empowered to Connect Conference  in Denver Colorado April 8, 9 2011 Bear Valley Church.  Empowered To Connect, together with Show Hope, will host the next Empowered To Connect Conference in Denver, Colorado on April 8-9, 2011. Online registration for the conference is now open. The Empowered To Connect Conference is a two-day conference for adoptive and foster parents, ministry leaders and professionals designed to help them better understand how to connect with children from hard places in order to help them heal and become all that God desires for them to be. Led by Dr. Karyn Purvis (Director of the TCU Institute of Child  Development ), together with Michael & Amy Monroe (Leaders of Tapestry Adoption & Foster Care Ministry), this conference is ideal for adoptive and foster parents, those considering adoption or foster care and those who are serving and supporting others, including social workers, agency professionals, church staff and ministry leaders, counselors, therapists and others involved in adoption and foster care ministries or services. Conference sessions will be held from 9 am until 5 pm on both days. Light refreshments will be provided during breaks throughout the event, with "on your own" lunch breaks scheduled from 12:00 to 1:30pm. All participants are highly encouraged to attend sessions on both days. Professionals may be eligible to receive CEU credit for their participation. Visit www.etcconference.org for more details and to register online. Early- bird registration runs until March 1, with a cost of only $35 for individuals and $50 for couples -- and this covers both days! There is also a conference  In Nashville. See site for details. We look forward to seeing you in Denver on April 8-9 for the Empowered To Connect Conference! Empowering, Connecting & Correcting Principles DVD resource The Institute of Child Development at TCU has created a nearly two-hour presentation available on DVD in which Dr. Karyn Purvis explains her research-based approach with children who come from what she calls “hard places.” This DVD offers a very helpful overview of the three principles that serve as the foundation of Dr. Purvis’ approach to help parents better understand how to connect with their children in order to help them heal and reach their highest potential. In this presentation, Dr. Purvis explains how harm during the critical stages of brain growth can cause significant disruptions in a child’s development and behaviors, and offers strategies to overcome these challenges. This insightful and educational presentation is designed for parents, ministry leaders and adoption and foster care professionals alike. You can order the DVD online from the Institute of Child Development for a price of $30 (plus shipping). To view a preview of the DVD, click here.

With Empowered to Connect™, you can find a study guide and other helpful resources that highlight many of the underlying Biblical principles of The Connected Child. For more information, visit our website at www.empoweredtoconnect.org.

Helping the Difficult Child

There are a ton of different theories on attachment parenting and things to do to help the hurting child. You can make up your own mind on what you think is right for your family. I am just posting options here. I have enjoyed two of the books by Nancy Thomas and know people who have had great results with her programs and books with their kids. I know other programs and people who have had great results with them too. So.....

I just got this in the mail and thought I would let you know that this resource is out there and you can check it out!

Helping the Difficult child
How to help children with challenging behaviors and overcome their childhood trauma
Friday March 18 and Saturday March 19, 2011
Salt Lake City Utah
Columbus Community Center
For more information you can check out the web site.
Or you can conteact the organization sponsoring the seminar at finding hope for trauma@gmail.com or
http://findinghopefortrauma.blogspot.com/
you can get a $15 discount at this blog and sign up.

If this location does not work for you check out the web site and see where others are scheduled for in 2011.
Some of the locations are in AZ, GA, MO, FL, WA, Romania, England.

Attachment Disorder:
Understanding this disorder and the required parenting is vital to provide the unique balance of nurturing and structure that these children must have to heal. I have attempted to pull together resources to help each of you. I hope you can attend a seminar so we can share face to face. Hearing the way things are said to the children has helped many parents to avoid becoming "cold enforcers" and to become warm empowerers! The WAY you do the techniques is important. Remember to keep your eyes filled with love and be a parent they feel safe enough to bond to. Yes, there will be times when you would rather strangle them then hug them. No, they will not feel safe enough to trust and bond to you if they see that in your eyes! We can’t heal their wounded hearts with anger and pain! We must be powerful and loving in a balance to help them heal. They can heal. I have lived with them and watched them blossom into loving, caring human beings.
Keep learning and reaching for more tools to help your child and your family. It is worth the fight for them!

Nancy is a Therapeutic Parenting specialist, has shared her life and home for over 30 years with severely emotionally disturbed children, with RAD, ADD, ADHD, Tourette’s and bipolar. An internationally known presenter, and author, Nancy has trained over twenty five thousand parents and professionals in her powerful parenting methods. Her books, videos and workshops share methods that are helping children to learn to be respectful, responsible and fun to be with in homes across the world.

Doing taxes

There are a lot of questions about the adoption tax credit laws and how to file. It has been easy for us to file for the last two years. I think there is only one year left for us. Fortuantely it has been extended. And I think that the limit is about  $13,170 this year for 2010 taxes.

Here's the official IRS document that explains it:

http://www.irs. gov/pub/irs- drop/n-10- 66.pdf

  A section to note for carry over credits is on  page 3 at the bottom - section 3

1. Amounts Carried Over from Earlier Taxable Years to a Taxable Year Beginning in 2010
An amount of an adoption credit claimed in an earlier taxable year that a taxpayer carries forward to a taxable year beginning in 2010 is allowable as a refundable tax credit. An amount that a taxpayer carries forward to a taxable year beginning in 2010 is not subject to an income limitation in that taxable year.

The following examples illustrate these rules.
Example 1. (i) In 2008, Taxpayer pays $2,000 of QAE to adopt an eligible child who is a citizen of the United States. In 2009, Taxpayer pays an additional $8,000 of QAE and the adoption becomes final. The adoption credit for $10,000 of QAE is allowable in 2009.

(ii) Taxpayer's tax liability for taxable year 2009 is $6,000, and Taxpayer applies $6,000 of the $10,000 credit against Taxpayer's 2009 tax liability. Taxpayer carries forward $4,000 of the credit to 2010.
(iii) In 2010, Taxpayer's tax liability is $3,000. Taxpayer applies $3,000 of the $4,000 carried forward adoption credit against Taxpayer's 2010 tax liability. Taxpayer is entitled to a refund of the remaining credit.

other links:
http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-drop/n-10-66.pdf
http://www.thompson.com/public/newsbrief.jsp?cat=BENEFITS&id=3137
http://taxes.about.com/od/deductionscredits/qt/adoptioncredit.htm
http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=228301,00.html
http://www.cwa.org/taxcredit.htmhowever you feel about CWA this is one of the best posts on this I have read. 

A sad but funny story from our family life

I just wanted to share a funny story that just happened in our family. It is sad in a way, but also funny. Our son Kedus, who we adopted in 2008, is in Kindergarten this year. We were eating dinner and my girls (11 and 13) were talking about lunch at school. Kedus pipes up and says "I'm glad it is going to be a long long long time before I have to have lunch at school." So why is that I ask. The girls are busy telling him that it is only next school year and that is not that far away. He looks really worried. He makes this "fish" face when he is worried. He says "Do you have to pay for it everyday?" They tell him yes, you can't get lunch for free." I ask him again, so why are you worried about eating lunch at school? He says "well, I don't know if I will have enough money to buy lunch. I will have to save up a long time." He looks like he might cry. He LOVES his food. When we brought him home he was nearly 4 and wearing 18-24 month clothing. You better bet he values eating. He is a lot bigger now and missing lunch might be good for him sometimes. (just kidding). Well, I put my arm around him and tell him that mommy and daddy will be sure he gets lunch just like we are sure his sisters get lunch. I tell him again that we pay for it just like we pay for everything else for him. He will always have what he needs. I promise, we shake on it, he goes back to eating his dinner a much happier kid.
My daughters who are my bio kids would never have thought of this. In fact they could not believe he had just said that. They kept pointing out all the things none of them have to provide for themselves.  Just one more way we see the effects of having been an orphan even 2.5 years out. Breaks my heart. I know he trusts us and knows we provide for him, but in this very basic way he showed us that down deep there are still the old ways.
Ok, there is my funny but sad tale.

Webinar on secure parent- child attachments March 8, 2011

Connecting Your Family Inside and Out:

Helpful advice on how to develop a stronger connection with your child.
 
Tuesday, March 8, 2011, 7:00-8:00PM Central Time
Question and Answer Session: 8:00-8:30 PM Central Time  
Cost: $15 Click here to register

Secure parent-child attachments are essential to healthy child development, but often adoption can present challenges to the process.

Join world renowned attachment expert Dr. Dan Hughes as he shares family centered strategies on how parents can connect to their child as a toddler, tween and teen.  Dr. Hughes will be joined by Lynn Wetterberg, Executive Director of ATTACh.  Lynn will discuss finding attachment related resources and provide information on finding adoption competent professional support.

• Advice on connecting with your child throughout their development
• Expert insights into attachment and attunement
• Information on finding professional support and resources
• Question and Answer session  

Registrants will be contacted and asked to submit questions prior to the event.  We will address as many questions as time will allow.

Speakers:

 
Dr. Dan Hughes, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment of children who have experienced attachment disorganization, abuse, neglect and childhood trauma.  Dr. Hughes developed Attachment-Focused Family Therapy (AFFT), a treatment model used frequently in attachment therapy. He is the author of Facilitating Developmental Attachment (1997), Building the Bonds of Attachment (2006) and Attachment-Focused Family Therapy (2007).



Lynn Wetterberg, M.S., C.P.A.  is the Executive Director of the Association for Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children (ATTACh), a national organization of clinicians, advocates and parents of attachment disordered children.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011
7:00-8:00 PM Central Time
Q & A: 8:00 - 8:30 PM Central Time
Cost $15
Register Now: click here

Sponsored by:
 

Questions?  Please drop us a line:  
webinars@adoptionlearningpartners.org

Ethiopian Culture Class starts in Colorado Springs

     NEW!!!! Interested in helping your child learn about Ethiopian culture, language, food, etc? This class is for anyone who is interested in multi cultural education. It is for adoptive families, kids born in Ethiopia, thier siblings, friends and relatives. It is for kids who are interested in something new and different.
  
Classes start Sat. Jan 8, 10am-11am at the First Congregational Church on Cascade and St. Vrain downtown. (tomorrow)
Contact Maya via email at uchenna3@live.com to register or just show up tomorrow to fill out paperwork.
Maya owns the Uchenna (Ethiopian) restaurant in Old CO City.

Please pass this on to any families you think might be interested.

new movie out - adoption focus

A new movie is coming to a store near you. I don't get the idea it is in theaters but will be sold in walmarts. The movie is called Change of Plans and sounds like a good one. A couple finds themselves the guardians of four kids (three internationally adopted) after their parent dies tragically. After the shock of it, they find love and family together. I don't know how adopted kids will feel about the tragic situation of the adopted kids in the story. I myself would worry about this with mine as they have already lost parents and this would be so hard for them. So, maybe older kids. Check out the trailer to see for yourselves.

Process in Ethiopia for court and embassy, etc.

This was posted on a parent group and came from an adoption agency. It is great information on how court works and the process you can expect in general on the Ethiopia side. It is very much like what I know to be true and so I have decided to post it here for the masses of waiting parents to peruse to their own encouragement and edification. :) I have added the first section for further clarification.

Your dossier is sent to Ethiopia
The staff working with your agency will translate your dossier into Amharic. Your paperwork will wait to be attatched to the dossier of the child you are referred. Once referral is made the dossier of the child is attached to yours and it then goes on for the rest of this process.

Obtaining a Court Date
After a family receives a referral, it could be approximately one month or longer before your documents are filed for a court date. Keep in mind that no officials have received or reviewed your dossier in Ethiopia until you have accepted a referral. After you have officially accepted your referral is when dossiers are processed in order to obtain a court date and approval from the Ministry of Woman's Affairs (MOWA) and the Ethiopia Federal Court. After the required dossier documents are submitted for a court date, it could take another month to receive that date. Once the date it given, the actual court date is approximately 2 months later. These timelines are not set in stone and can be longer or slightly shorter, but this is a general/approximate estimate of the timelines, and what we are seen in several cases.

The judge in the Ethiopia Federal Court assigns court dates and dates are given based on her schedule; keep in mind also that other agencies families are waiting on court dates as well, and there could be upwards of 70 families waiting for a court date on any given day. Typically the time frame from referral acceptance to travel for the 1st trip is 3-4 months. Each adoption case is individual and can look very different in regard to time lines, therefore you cannot solely rely on what another family's time frame has been. It's a good base to use, but not as an absolute guideline to how your process and time lines will go. There are many things that are out of the control of our Ethiopia in country staff and is completely in the control of the federal court or other entities processing various steps for the adoption once your dossier is submitted. The key here is to remain flexible and to know that it is the process.

Waiting for Visa Interview Date
Once your adoption has been approved in the court, there are many things that have to take place before you can be issued a visa interview date.

The adoption decree has to be created. Again, one judge writes all of the adoption decrees. This could take 1 day or 7 days – depending on the judges schedule.

The child's birth certificate has to be created. This could take 3 days, or sometimes more
The child's passport has to be created. Could take up to 7 days for this to be completed

Child has to go for a visa medical, and children 2 years old and over are given a TB skin test at the visa medical.
If it's determined that the child tests positive for TB, the child will have to return for a chest x-ray. If active TB is found, the child will have to remain in country for a extended period of time for more testing and treatment.

All of the documents obtained after the court approval must be submitted to the US Embassy 2 weeks before a visa interview can be held.

After documents are submitted to the US Embassy, a review is done on the child's documents and the parents I-171H cable and home study and the officials decide if any further investigations are needed into the background information of the child. If so, this could delay confirming a visa interview date as the embassy officials will have to go out into the region of where the child was relinquished or abandoned to conduct such an investigation and it could take, a couple of days, a couple of weeks or even months.

Tentative visa interview travel dates that families receive after court approval are not confirmed by until the US Embassy has let us know that everything is complete on the family and child. That is generally approx. 1 ½ weeks prior to travel, if everything goes like clockwork.