Oh the Holiday Regression! Some of you know what I am talking about. Some of our precious kids just do not do so well with holidays, vacations, school breaks, company, alterations to the predictable and comfortable schedule. Do you have one..... or more? Loads of us do, you are not alone.
Here are some gifts you could give your child in this unpredictable time:
Give your child a written schedule of events, let them know that things could change but they can trust you even if things don't go just like the plan. Try to keep the plan and let them know the moment you know it is going to change.
Give them the heads up as to who will be there and what to expect at various events, inclulding what is expected of them.
Give them the reassurance that your love and your family is NOT going to change and that you belong to each other in this wonderful season.
Give them family time, traditions and special things to look forward to that say, this is family, and I care about you.
Give them time to talk and cuddle, maybe a bit extra is just what is needed to stay grounded.
Give them grace. No one means to have a meltdown, it just happens, more so when mom and dad are busy and do not notice the warning signs.
Give yourself grace. Of course it is busy and you did not realize it was getting to be too much. You are not defined by your child's good or bad behaviour. And neither is your child. It just is.
Give hugs and kisses and reassurance and some time away from the activity together. This too shall pass.
Give your child extra eye contact, smiles and touches.
Give some suggestions, when it is all just too much and regression sets in. You might suggest that this is why your child did such and such.....(ok, some do not agree with this, but it works wonders for us!). If they can understand what is going on in their brain then the behavior is not so bad, the event not so scary, the change not so unsettling. If the feeling has a name the actions seem to take a back seat because they become manageable. Seriously if they know they are acting on a false presupposed idea and it is going badly, maybe the truth will set them free. Just maybe. It *usually* works around here.
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OK, what if your child is older? Well, it has been my experience that this plan works just as well with a 4 year old as it does with a 12 year old. So, give, give, give. :) And have a great Holiday!
Great reminder!
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